Are you a controlling or a passive parent?

I am very sure you already have heard of the “Tiger Mom” Amy Chua and her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, where she talks about the difference between how Western cultures raise their children and how she raised her daughter “the Chinese way”. If you have no idea what I’m talking about check this link, and maybe this video. Go ahead, I’ll wait…

Ok, so now you have some idea of what I’m talking about. I haven’t read the book yet (but I will!), but I have read many articles about this and I think this is a great topic for debate.

This is what “Tiger Mom” Amy Chua says about parenting the “Chinese way”. She did not accept any grade  less than an “A” from her two daughters, and did not allow T.V., video games, playdates or sleep–overs. Chua believes typical Western style parenting is too relax and focuses on self–esteem over performance. She told Meredith Vieira on the Today show: “To be perfectly honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting, including how much time Westerners allow their kids to waste — hours on Facebook and computer games — and in some ways, how poorly they prepare them for the future. “It’s a tough world out there.”  

Chua says that Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

So, I ask you, parents out there: Which one is your parenting style? a tough, strong, parent, kind of like my way or the highway, because I said so, or more lenient, soft, relaxed with less boundaries and rules? I really can’t answer the question because I’m not a mother yet. But as a daughter I can say that, well, there HAS to be a balance!

Any thoughts?